THE WRITE ZONE: The Dangers of On-Line Dating

COMING SOON: The release of A Bongo Bay Mystery Novella: “CAGED”!

If you read my first Bongo Bay Mystery, Stolen Destiny, you will remember Carolina Starr’s promise to investigate the disappearance of Tampa Native, Ramona Dominguez.

In “Caged” readers will finally discover what happened to her. Please be aware that this is Adult Content. My research of “human sex trafficking” has been a long and depressing process because although my story is fictional, it is a harsh realization that these things actually do happen. Traffickers can be your neighbor next door or your family dentist.

Despite all of this, “Caged” is also a Mystery/ Romance and Bongo Bay will have some new residents that you will love. I will introduce you to some of them in a later blog.

For now, this blog will concentrate on another scenario. .

If you’re single, widowed, or divorced you can be scammed with #on-line #romance. Your age doesn’t matter. Although I am addressing this to women, men can be scammed too.

Who hasn’t at one time or another dreamed of finding a soul mate? A man who encompasses everything you’ve ever wanted? A man who listens to your desires? One who is not only romantic but one who has a compassionate heart? Someone who is successful and intelligent who will offer you devotion, loyalty and companionship?

There are hundreds of thousands of both men and women who are desperately seeking relationships.

Perhaps it’s because you’ve lost a spouse, either through death or divorce; It could even be because you’ve had so many disappointments in love that you want and need Love more than anything else in the world..

Then you find him. You see an ad and you contact him first. He’s the answer to your prayers.

These men/women are not REAL. Scammers often use images of models, actors, or fake documentations to prove a false identity if you question them.

They are experts at finding out everything about you. How? Because you are more than willing to share intimate details about your life. It’s the first time anyone’s cared about all you’ve been through in your life. And he’s Listening to all the past disappointments you’ve had and he promises he will make it all up to you. You deserve better.

Then his mission and campaign begins. He remembers your favorite flower is a rare orchid and he sends you a bouquet. He’ll send you chocolates; he doesn’t care if you’re overweight. He loves you for the person you are inside. He will play on your emotions. He may tell you he will build you your dream house on the beach and will take care of you. You no longer have to work so that you can travel all over the world together.  He’s so smooth and convincing he should win an Academy Award for his acting abilities.The Entrapment he has planned for you is in place.

And they take all these little details and he creates the person you’ve been waiting for all of your life. Just like I invent my heroines/ heroes, he takes over the script and feeds your soul with words of love and compliments. He’s a genius; he’s a poet; he’s a CON. As an author, I would call him my Villain.

You get sucked in to his game. Why? It’s not because you’re stupid. You are VULNERABLE..

So this blog is about helping women who have either already been scammed or to those who may be tempted to go on-line to meet the love of your life.

No, the man you’re having an on-line relationship with right now  IS NOT DIFFERENT. Sometimes even the paid sites are filled with scammers. BEWARE.

Forget the movie, “You’ve Got Mail!”  You are not communicating with Tom Hanks and you’re not Meg Ryan.

Learn from other people’s horrible experiences and don’t think it can’t happen to you.

1 .Research and investigate. Don’t rely on the site to protect you.

2. Do not share any personal information such as your address,  date of birth or information about your personal finances or assets.

3. Do not give him your personal e-mail address.

4. NEVER SEND MONEY OR ALLOW HIM TO SEND OR FAX YOU CHECKS TO DEPOSIT FOR THEM IN THIS COUNTRY.

5. Meet them in person in a public place. Make sure you’re not followed home after the “date.” If they give you an excuse why he can’t meet you or a tale of an unexpected emergency, walk away and never look back.

6. Do not be ashamed to REPORT it if you have encountered a scammer or if you suspect you’ve been victimized.  Report it to the dating service and to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at IC3.gov.

7. Know that you will go through a Grieving process. A period of depression will envelop you like a dark cloak because this has hit you harder than you could have ever imagined. As hard as it may be for other people to understand, you fell in love with a myth. Search for Support Groups because you are not the only one who has been scammed. TAKE THE CLOAK OFF AND THROW IT AWAY.

8. Join a church; the Moose Club; the Elks Club; Italian Club, etc., to meet new friends.Both men and women.  If you meet people in places like this, other members will be able to vouch for his character, or will know if he’s married or divorced; They will have heard rumors if he has gambling habits or drug and alcohol addictions.

Nothing is a guarantee. But there are other options out there. You don’t have to feel lonely. Go out with your friends..Get involved in organizations that help other people. Take up a hobby. Be Constructive, Not Destructive.

I sincerely hope and pray that this information will help somebody out there. Please share if you have single friends.

May God Bless and Protect You.

Until next time,
Stay In The Write Zone

Jeanette Lynn Dundas

 

spacer